it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
