Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
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