i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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