We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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