I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
