We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
