we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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