Sponge bath it is.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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