At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
