I hope mine doesn't look like that
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
its liver damage thursday
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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