Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
