did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
