i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
