the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
