i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
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