I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
