i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
