he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
