I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize