I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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