What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
