and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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