You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
