Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
