a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
