girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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