just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
We need to rekindle our bromance
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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