just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
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In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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