He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
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If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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