Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
