Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
