i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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