how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
