she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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