i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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