She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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