Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize
