I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
