Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
