out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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