there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Damn victory sex feels great
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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