please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
