6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize