that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize
