i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
