mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
