I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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