remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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