I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
