Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Why are your pants in the freezer?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
