Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
