You're my little dorito
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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