I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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