You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Actions speak louder than pants.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
