I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
