Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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