you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
