He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
