were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
