Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
