Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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