Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
As shirtless as possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
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