Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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