Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
