Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
