last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
