well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
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