I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
This can only be settled by a dance off.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
