The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
he high fived his dick after we had sex
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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