I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Randomize
