just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
