so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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