She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
