Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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