So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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