Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
