Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Four minutes until I can fart!
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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